i hate to be worried.

these 2 weeks had been some worrying weeks for me.

first Grandpa went for a surgery for his pelvic bones i think last week. i was worried as i couldn't visit him but in the end, everything turned out fine. phew~

yesterday, Hubby had a really bad fever. his body is warming up like nobody's business and i can tell that i can cook an egg on his body. but with that temperature and heat, he's shivering cold.

so i took a leave off work today and bring him to the nearest clinic. he was suspected with dengue. lucky for him, it was still at an early stage. he needs to get 3 injections in 3 days to get real better.

now im blur, thinking bout my work load. and other lots of stuff in mind. i think i need to unwind myself.

what a b*tch!

Hubby had been very sweet these past few days.

he bought for me a pc-dvd game. he accompanied me to meet an old friend of mine, Wani and bought a large white chocolate dream from Coffee Bean. and lots more.

tonight, we went to take away some nice dinner from KFC. but something happened while we were waiting for our order and change of cash.

there was this one cocky woman standing behind us. at first i thought she was a foreigner but after stealing a quick glance at her, i got to know that she's an Indian - from her facial appearance of course.

i noticed quite a while she was getting rather impatient waiting for her turn to place her order but hey, she just got into the line like less than 5 minutes! another 5 minutes absolutely wouldn't hurt right? but i just pretend not to notice and paid attention more on checking our food in the plastic bags while Hubby waited for another order and also for the change.

out of a sudden, this cocky b*tch came in between us and sounded "excuse me, can you move away and let me through?"

before i could say anything, Hubby replied " excuse me, can't you see im still waiting for my order AND my change of cash? do you mind?"

so i took another real good look at the lady and i think i can make up of what kind of woman she is. she's wearing mini skirt - not as short as mine so she thinks she's one big hell of a hot chick. i was pissed and if Hubby hadn't open his mouth first, i would surely addressed her "hey b*tch!".

and guess what? she came to the counter not to place an order but to chat with the cashier-girl! once again, before i left the counter i purposely uttered out "what a b*tch!" - loud enough for her to hear for herself.

LOL. serves her right for being a cocky b*tch.


very often that i get a bit of jealous when seeing girls around me have the chance to dress themselves up. look good. look cute. look pretty. look astonishingly beautiful. look presentable, sweet and bla bla bla. my eyes would quickly glance at these girls from head to toe, from hair to the heels. i inspect and observe everything of these girls, and slowly i envy them.


cause i wish i can be like them, but yet i can't.

i love dresses. i love mini skirts. i love baby-tees. i love formal attire. i love casuals. i love jeans-wear. oh, i just love clothes.

but i can't possibly have much of them - not as many as other girls my age would have.

cause i have more needed and important things to buy or pay : the house. food budget for the whole month. toileteries. savings. pocket money for my bro and my grandpa. and in the end, i only have a bit of savings for my future plans.

make-ups? oohh. i love to see the styles, the colors; how the colors blend into each other and transform an ugly duckling into a super hot model-faced girl. i've seen that.

but i can't possibly be putting on make-ups too - not possible like other girls my age should have.

cause i have the slightest idea of how to apply make-ups on my face. i only know how to put on eye-liners and lipsticks. most of the time, i just go along with being natural. absolutely nothing on my face - neither a simple eye-liner or a smack of lipstick on my lips. and again the same reason comes into consideration - money. i need to pay for lots of things. to buy a simple make-up for myself, i need to think hundred thousands of times and find myself not buying anything.

heels and handbags? God! which lady doesn't get crazy with these two most important accessories? not to mention jewelery too! these 3 things will complete a girl's attire. makes the dress or attire looks more presentable, or sweet, or just plain nice to look at. i do love to have handbags, a huge collection of heels and other types of footwear, and massive collection of jeweleries too.

but again, it's impossible for me to have those.

reasons - money. money. and money. and oh, i always have this attitude when im about to buy something - will this thing very practical to me? is it worth the money? is it long-lasting? yes, i think like a cheapskate. i think, like an old lady.

another reason why i can't possibly put on nice clothes, presentable make-ups and dashing accessories is that because i work in a technical operation team. means, i do maintenance and technical jobs. means, i need to be comfortable for me to move around and do jobs. and practical too. and not worried about getting my hands or clothes dirty.

so, i keep myself plain and simple. other than the above matters, i don't have problems being plain. and i feel more comfortable being plain. i don't feel ashamed wearing just jeans, t-shirt and a pair of flipflops to the shopping complexe.

cause what's important to me, my Hubby doesn't mind. he loves seeing me plain and comfortable.

he loves to see me without make-up cause he loves natural beauty (that doesn't mean i am naturally beautiful)

he just loves me the way i am. im lucky. nuff said.

game and Grandpa


i've been away from Blogger for a few countable days. i don't usually blog during weekends, cause i want to cherish every minutes of weekends by not going online. 5 days in a week of going online is enough for me. alright. time for a few updates.

last weekends, me and Hubby went to Digital Mall in PJ Seksyen 14. we were yearning to buy PC-DVD games for ourselves cause Hubby is bored with DOTA while i am already puking over FM2008. at first, we were planning to get either FM2009 or PES2009. mainly because, both graphics are superb. smooth, 3D graphic. but then, we changed our minds. enough with sports. let's play something else. Hubby chose some war games. more to the 2nd world war, if im not mistaken. while i chose CSI:NY. yeah. and seriously, the game is freaking on! not to forget, the graphics almost look like you're playing through the series itself. the characters look real, the buildings, the scenes, almost everything! and one episode takes about more than 3 hours to solve. eyes have to be really sharp, and critical thinking too. player has to know how to relate certain evidences to particular persons, or if not - your credibility as a detective will drop.

ok enough for games. now, news.

my grandpa flew to Kuching this morning along with my grandma and mum. Mummy took 3 days of emergency leave till next Monday. reason was that my grandpa is scheduled to an operation which involves his bum. pelvic bones actually. they just got off the plane this afternoon and suddenly around 4pm, Mummy sent me a message telling me that my grandpa's operation is going to be at 5pm. and i guess, the doctors are on it now.

im trying to keep my cool. but my heart is pounding fast too. oh, i hope he'll be fine. and i hope the doctors and nurses will do a great job of taking care of him. if anything bad happens to him, i swear im going to run berserk around the hospital. oh wait. i shouldn't be positive and optimistic, right? yeah. everything will surely turn out just fine.

i pray for everything to work out well.

p/s : if you could, kindly enough, pray for the operation to turn out successful and also for the well-being of my grandpa - i would be very very much grateful. thank you in advance.

An Idiot who missed the signs.

i felt like blogging but i didn't know what to blog.

until i read what Nono wrote in my Shoutbox. she's yearning for more "Hindi movies" about me and Hubby. so i thought, ok. why not?

as in my previous post, Hubby had laid his eyes on me since about 3 years ago. he first saw me early 2005, that was when i was still in Foundation of Engineering and he's joining the 1st year students. he was about to attend Health, Safety and Environment lecture when he heard some giggles. he's not the type of a guy who would go for any girls that he feels he wants to, Hubby is more to one-woman type of a lad. he choose, he commits. that's him. one of the reasons why i love him.

so, back to the story.

he's a normal guy but he chooses certain girls to be around him. ah-ha! he's not afraid, or shy of girls. in fact, he was very well-known among his Penang old friends for his player attitude when he was younger. since he's an eternal lover, his heart dimmed when he lost his first love. yeah, im the second. so, you can imagine how hard it is for him to fall in love, or even to like a girl.

when he heard my giggles that very afternoon, he wasn't irritated or annoyed as he would usually feels. his eyes were busy searching for whose giggles that might be, and they turned to me. basically, it was my giggles that got him attracted. not only that time. Hubby's still attracted to my laughter, my giggles and smiles.

now, to the main question where friends always ask : why did he took 3 years to get you?

here's the explanation:

#1. he was shy. though he looks tough, stern and bla bla bla - but he is shy. especially towards me at that time. but he still admires me from far. and secretly too.

#2. cause i belonged to one of his good friends at that particular moment. being a good friend, he decided to keep quiet and let his friend to be with me instead. but like people always say - best man wins. after i took the pledge to be with Hubby, i became a better person.

#3. cause i freaking missed the signs he gave me! which leads to the main topic of my post. yeah, the above were only prologue.

i stupidly missed a lot of signs that he gave me. seriously, how dumb could i be that time? imagine, it took him 3 years to give signs to me when he finally gave up and just popped the question instead.

Hubby cared for me more than The Bloody Ex.
when i fell sick, Hubby would always be there while The Bloody Ex would rather enjoy himself with his friends.
when im hungry, be it 5am in the morning - Hubby would always bring me out to eat or at least, buy for me something to eat.
when i cried because of The Bloody Ex, Hubby would always lend me his shoulders for me to cry on. but that's just literally. i never hugged him until i became his.
when im frustrated with The Bloody Ex, Hubby would always tell me : "that bastard will never find a girl like. whoever gets you as his wife, that man will be one of the luckiest man in the world. why worry? im very sure there are others who would love to have you in their lives." ain't that sweet?

the biggest sign i missed was this:

when i felt heart-broken, Hubby would say : "Look around. who knows, there might be someone who really wants you to be not only a girlfriend, but a partner for his entire life" - while circulating his fingers around, in front of my face and stop in front of his face. im so well-known for being blur, so i didn't understand at all what he's trying to show *giggles*

without me noticing, i love him too since the start. just that i was so blur, freaking idiot who didn't even know what her heart desired. or worst, who was in her heart all the time.

i am happier when i hang out with Hubby compared to when i go for a date with The Bloody Ex.
when Hubby was down, i can assure you that my heels weren't touching the ground when i ran to lend my ears to his problems.
when Hubby was sick, i acted like an old auntie who would nag him to go to the clinic and get a rest.
and lots of other things that best friends do for each other.

at least, that's what i thought. i thought, those things above that i did for him was the normal things best friends would do for each other. but i was so wrong when friends around us told us that we have great chemistry to each other. and i was totally wrong, when i suddenly realized that my heart only belongs to him - blinded by great friendship we had, on the night when he proposed me to be the love of his life.

and slowly, after that memorable night - i realized how near our hearts were to each other.

one of his best advice to me as a friend that time was : "the person who would love you till the end of his life is just under your nose. you might not realize it.."

it's totally true. Hubby was just under my nose all these while; and i thank him for making me realize his significant presence in my life - as the best friend. as the love of my life.

Love you Hubby. come let's go back before it rains!

new look. new mood. new style.

wee~ finally, im done with changing my blog template.

and im proud of myself for trying hard enough to make my own template into how my blog looks like now.

i know, im kinda stupidly slow in creating my own template - but hey, im learning ok?

who knows one day, i can create a better template and i can change my blog's apperance in just a snap of the fingers.

i know my little blog looks sort of dull now, but i like it. not too much till i can look at it all the time, but im contented with how it looks like now.

and it's more simple.

no more stupid RSS, HTML or CSS error like my previous template.

will blog again properly with some stories later. im off to fix some broke-down instruments and look for more CSS or HTML code that i can try to use in my blog.


super duper cute cartoon!

i wish to share this very very very cute cartoon images with all of you.

it's super duper cute.

super duper funny.

and also super duper heart-whelming.

click here!

hope you all enjoy the cute cartoon!

should i just say this loud?

i just don't understand some people. a particular type of people who can't just see or know others doing better than them. or leading a better way of life. not only life but almost in anything; just name it - personal, work, studies or even wealth.

in my case, this type of people is getting a lot more in my workplace - especially in the lab. the admins and the management people are very nice. so are the chemists. in short, the people in the headquarters are nicer than the ones based in the labs here.

surprisingly, these people are of higher rankings - they are the engineers.

i admitted not all of them are of those type, but most of them are. which often leads to sabotage of work. which always makes me very pissed off cause most of MY work are sabotaged.

the best part, it's the seniors who always do these kind of nonsense. let me just give you an example:

i was given another reactor to work with. then The Boss asked 2 seniors to take over from me so that i can concentrate on an extra instrument. i had a corridor talk with The Boss and she told me that one of the seniors will be stationed in another lab as The Boss wanted me to take control of this lab. and guess what? both dickheads tried to make my work more difficult by sabotaging the reactor little by little. when i checked the reactor this morning, i found that that one part of the chromatograph was burnt. mind you, all the while before this there was not even a single burn happened at the instrument. and now it looks more like a piece of junk. can you just believe that?

that's one reason why our country never move forward like other countries around. with this kind of people working in any field of work, i can assure you our country will be the same the next 50 years as it is now.

come on! these kind of nonsense are like child's play. these seniors are at least 3 years older than me - and don't tell me they don't know how to act and think like an adult?

im tired of solving problem purposely created by these dickheads. seriously, every time when a task is about to be taken over by me, mainly because these LMF never do their work, they will try their best to stall me. to make me suffer all way long and end up in a worse situation.

at one point i feel like being a total bitch and be harsh on them cause i know what secrets and skeletons they keep inside their closet. oh, im not talking bout personal lives but work-wise. and whatever shitty nonsense they do regarding work, it will eventually affects my work too!

i don't want to do other people's work! and obviously, i don't want others to interrupt or do something bad to my work!

im a nice person. my friends know that. my family knows that. anyone who knows me, knows that im a simple, nice person. not to self-claim but i know what kind of person i am. but im a human being too, as normal as others too. though i have abundant of patience in me, but everything has a limit and so as my patience.

and i hope one day, these dickheads won't give any chance for me to turn myself into an evil bitch, maybe one of the most evil one they ever met in their lives. cause if they do, they will either end up in the hospital or six feet under.

cause im really pissed now. and my patience is shivering to burst out into going berserk.

i don't give a damn if they don't do their work, as long as their work has nothing to do with me, im like "whatever!". even if they f*ck on the table, in front of me - i won't give the slightest damn. but i DO give a damn when people backstab and sabotage me. and that really rises the hell in me.

i think im just going to be a real hard bitch from now on. i can't tolerate anymore. i've been persuading myself to pretend to be blind and deaf for all the nonsense they did to me.

so now, i'll just unleash the hell hounds out of myself.

*grumbling to myself*

(don't read the next paragraph if you can't tolerate serious vulgar words. but anyway, most of you may not understand.)

mun dah pukek ko ya gatal, mok gilak menggatal ngan laki2 sitok, iboh la tangan juak gatal mok ngaco keja org. mun dah sik dpt tangga org lain pandei molah keja, boh la kau keja. diam jak kat umah, polah bisnes kedirik. bisnes pukek gatal. keja aku, boh dikaco. kelak nahas ko kelak eh. silap2 ada ku sumbat spana ya masuk lam pukek ko kelak, kedong dah gatal gilak. sigek jak ku mok advise, cuba ko cuci pukek ko ya bnar2 bah. ney tauk, ko dpt jadi ompuan nok bagus sikit eh. umo dah tua bangkak, tp perangei ngalah mbiak skolah. sampei mok ngasut org lain juak polah keja sik senonoh ngan kau. merusah keja org. sik cukup kah 4 batang pelir dijilat ko ya tiap2 ari. or maybe, laki2 sitok dh diberik nasik kangkang kali oleh kau ya. sik mok ku tauk eh. yang aku tauk, mun ko mok dirik ko slamat, bagus ko jauhkan dirik kau dari aku and kerja aku.

that's all. thank you *evil grin*

how i met Hubby (on special request)

this post is specially for Nono, upon her request to continue a story we didn't manage to finish up during the dinner at Amoi's.

and for those who are wondering the same matter, and wish to know too.

of how i met a guy named Munna (not his real name!)

p/s : this story is going to be quite complicated. chances of having second part of the story is quite considerable too. i hope i won't make it draggy till it bores my fellow readers. alright, here goes!


i started my undergraduate studies sometime in July 2004. every batch was given a batch-name so mine was July04 batch. before i start my studies in the campus, i recalled having a boyfriend. but it wasn't long. it only lasted for one and a half year before i broke up with him. i was single - but only for 2-3 months when i hooked up with an Indian guy. one year senior than me. let's call him The Bloody Ex. i know the nick sounds rude, but you will find out eventually why i gave such nick to him as you continue to read my story.

let me skip the part of how i met The Bloody Ex and some detailed particulars cause this post is obviously not about us - me and him. but i can tell you one thing - the way The Bloody Ex treated me was the worst experience i ever had with any guys in whole life. worse than what my father did to us. and i regretted of even meeting him in the first place. imagine any bad things that a guy could do to a girl - that's how i experienced my relationship with The Bloody Ex. in short, i can say, he's a bloody, stinky pig.

(i don't care if any of his friends read this. they know what The Bloody Ex did not only to me, but to them too.)

so. let's get back to the story. The Bloody Ex and Munna were friends. i guessed some of you have read one of my post mentioning a group of So-Called Friends. that's the group of friends which both of them used to be in. i first met Munna when i went to mamak with The Bloody Ex for supper. i felt someone was staring at me, i turned around and i saw Munna. he acted cool. i got slightly irritated by his gestures. so i confronted The Bloody Ex. then i got to know that Munna is one of his good friends. one of 2 friends that have helped The Bloody Ex to get to know me, and proposed me to be his girlfriend. that's the first time i saw him.

second time was when i had to stay back for mid-semester holiday. it was only for one week of loneliness rather than paying hundreds of Ringgit for a one week flight to and from Miri. lucky for me, The Bloody Ex had to stay back for his Robocon team, so im not quite alone. one night, we were going out for late supper when The Bloody Ex told me that he invited 2 of his friends to come along. i said ok, and that's the second time i saw Munna. Matt followed us too. fyi, Matt was the other person who helped The Bloody Ex to get to know me.

from there, me and Munna became friends to good friends till best friends. every problem that i had, mostly with The Bloody Ex, he was willing to listen. he's a very good listener - one of the best that i've known. i can tell him any problems - personal, studies, family even girls' problems like period pain or some other things. the relationship that i had with The Bloody Ex was really awful, but Munna never failed to try to patch both of us up. he tried his best to make sure the relationship was good enough for both of us to be happy. but in the end, i couldn't tolerate any longer with The Bloody Ex - so i broke up with him (at last! after suffering for almost 2 years). before i officially ended my relationship with The Bloody Ex, a final year senior was after me. but the relationship i had with the senior was basically a rebound relationship. he wanted revenge for the girl that fooled his feelings around, and i wanted the same too. it didn't work out. the relationship only lasted for less than 3 months.

ok. so how did Munna became my Hubby?

this is his side of the story : he saw me first before The Bloody Ex even noticed me. he loved to see me smiling and laughing around with my friends. he first saw me when he was about to attend a lecture in the opposite hall of my lecture. he wanted to get to know me, but as soon as he knows that his friend, The Bloody Ex, wanted to get to know me - Munna backed off to give a chance to his friend. it broke his heart, it hurted his feelings to see and to know the way The Bloody Ex treated me. he waited for almost 3 years to make me as his loved one, and at last his chance came by.

(keep on reading..)

after i broke up with the senior, i had wonderful life. i regained my friends, i had lots of time to do anything i wish and love without anyone restricting me. i was enjoying my single life after years of tortured relationships. one fine day, me and another girlfriend abruptly planned an outing - clubbing in Ipoh. we asked Munna to accompany us for shopping before the night and invited him to join us for clubbing. off we went to enjoy ourselves till it's time to go back.

on the way back, Munna was kind high from drinks and so as my girlfriend. my roomate and another junior guy sat in the front seat, while Munna and my friend nicely slumbering on my shoulders in the back seat. till Fly FM played Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girl. and Munna started talking nonsense. a few days before we went for clubbing, Munna told me his dark secret that he never told anyone before. it was more to his saddest moment in life - but i do not wish to include the particulars in this post. while the song was playing in the car, Munna mumbled to me about his past and how he would never get the girl that he really wanted to be in his life. and all other kind of nonsense.

we dropped by at the usual mamak we always hang out to get ourselves late supper. i sat beside Munna, and i was feeling very sleepy and tired. Munna, on the other hand, was able to regain his conciousness a little bit but still he mumbled the same nonsense all over again. i got pissed so i went back into the car.

he followed me. we fought. we screamed at each other in the car. i can't really recalled the exact words of that night's fight, but im sure it was some sort like :

(reminder : we were screaming at each other)

Munna : why you suddenly get in the car?
Me : im sleepy la. im tired la. and i hate it when my friend told me the same nonsense that reminds me of The Bloody Ex.
Munna : but it's true. noone cares for me. i cared for lots of people, and yet i can't get my happiness. my life is useless. empty.
Me : it's not true la! im your friend, right? i'll always be your best friend. anything or any problem - im always ready to listen to you. if i can help, i will help. i will try my best to help you out. i'll always be there for you la. haven't i done that all this while?
Munna : no, you don't understand! one day, you will have someone important in your life. you will have your own life. you will be so tied up till you slowly won't be there.
Me : hello! even when i was with The Bloody Ex, i still accompany you, right? im still there for you right? why do you have to tell me nonsense and be stubborn?!!!
Munna : because i love you la dummy! because i want you la! can't you read the signs??!!
Me : *blur*

that's the most blur moment i ever had in my life! and the funny part is - how can a person confessed his love while fighting and screaming at the other person? *laughing*

but i didn't give him the answer yet. cause 2 of my friends came knocking on the window to tell us that our food has come.

the next night, we went for a hang out with the same group of friends in Teluk Batik beach. again, Munna was a bit high, still sane - but he continued his nonsense from where he left. i was tired, and sleepy again and i wanted to lie down on the sandy beach. he lifted my head and let me lay my head on his lap. this time, we talked instead of screaming our lungs out at each other:

Me : can i ask you something? promise you won't laugh.
Munna : ask la.
Me : last night, you were high right? you were sober right? the things you told me - was the effect of booze?
Munna : no, i wasn't high at all. a bit of booze doesn't affect me at all. i was totally sane. and i remembered the whole thing clearly.
Me : i don't believe you. try recall if you can.
Munna : *smiled* will you take the honour of becoming my wife? not a girlfriend, but my wife.
Me : *blur*

and from there onwards, im his Baby and he's my Hubby. it has been more than a year now - as lovers. and it has been more than 3 years now - as best friends. we are still best friends. and we are still a loving couple. not to say great, but i can say moments i had with him was the best i had ever in my life for now. good enough to make me smile and laugh every single day, without fail. *smiles*

oh. just an additional info. there's something creepy bout both of us - if there is any chance that any one of you out there will meet us and hang out together. we can read each other's mind. seriously. i can start a sentence, and Hubby will end it. vice versa. like for example:

Me : (thinking of getting having dinner at McD's)
Hubby : baby, come have dinner at McD. eat something different tonight.
Me : err. i was thinking of that.
Hubby : *blur*

and it happens every single day. creepy, huh?

p/s : haha. there wouldn't be Part 2. but anything that you wish to ask, or know. please do. im more than happy to share my fairytale with all of you. *smiles*

Hubby : don't la. shy la. sheesh.

Mummy's Graduation

the day before i flew back to KL, me and my brother attended Mummy's graduation. nothing so grand like undergraduate or postgraduate graduation, just a certificate graduation. but the certificate that she took, really paid her off.

Mummy made her way from the bottom to top, from becoming only an admistration personnel to now, a certified safety officer. she's not only certified nationally, but also internationally. she took NIOSH and NEBOSH certificates which certified her to be a versatile safety officer.

make long story short, im posting some pictures for the day.

oh forgot. the graduation ceremony took place at Eastwood Golf Resort in Miri.and yes, im posting some scenic pictures of the area too. so, enjoy!

p/s : im too lazy to put captions for each pictures. sorry. *giggles*

Dinner at Amoi's

as told, i did some quick editing to the pictures of my holiday in Miri. not that very nice and grand, just simple edits to make the pictures look more presentable, i may put it that way. but the quality wasn't that good cause i took the pictures using the camera from a phone. pardon me for the blur quality.

9th of December, i went to CoffeeBean in Bintang Plaza to get online. didn't take much pictures while i was there cause i saw some teenagers are cam-whoring around in the place as well, so i don't want to take a chance on embarassing myself in front of them. yeah, im kinda shy when it comes to people seeing me taking pictures of myself. i went there with my younger brother, had some drinks and went online till evening before meeting up with Amoi to have dinner at her house.

well, here goes. i'll just let the pictures and the captions to describe what i did on another day holidaying in Miri.

#1. was so bored while waiting for Amoi to fetch me from Bintang Plaza, so i randomly took a picture of Coffee Bean. i found the place rather nice to see and to be in. maybe because of the location and the interior.

#2. i was sort of surprised to see that there is another flyover in Miri. i was only expecting one, the one nearer to my neighbourhood as i didn't see any construction development for this flyover, which is situated in the centre of the town. Amoi told me that there are 3 flyovers now in Miri. *wow*

#3. introducing the food for the night! Amoi's mum had been so nice and a great cook too, for preparing for us these delicious dishes. we had : chicken rice with both roasted and boiled chicken, spaghetti, homemade mashed potato, chicken mushroom soup, garlic bread and to quench our thirst, we had honey-dew cordial. yummy!

#4. the hostess for the night. she's proud to self-claimed that she cooked everything, NOT! oh, how i wish i can stay longer in Miri to spend some crazy time with Amoi.

#5. Nono with Amoi's mum.

#6. the guys. mind you, all of them are younger than any of us girls. yeah, sort of paedophile.

#7. i love this one! caught Amoi red-handed while dipping her hand into the very last prawn crackers from the basin. sheesh.

#8. this is our dessert after dinner. rich, moist chocolate muffins dipped in Hershey's chocolate syrup. bottomed it all up with a bottle of Coke. im very sure my diabetes will be visiting me soon.

after dinner, we watched the Thailand version of Shutter. it was more scary and gruesome compared to the English version. after the movie, we spent the rest of the night telling our supernatural experiences. in the end, all of us were too scared to continue sharing ghosts stories, so we headed home.

that's all for the day. will be posting my mum's graduation on the next post (i hope so!) with some more pictures too. later.

sorry, had to hold on. just for a while

ooh. i have a lot to blog about my hols. well, not in words but in pictures. but i have to edit the pictures so that they will look nice enough for eyes to feast on.

i wanted to blog about how me and Hubby met - on request from NoNo, but i can't really do it now cause suddenly, there are lots of engineers from the headquarters here in my lab today. im feeling like my comfort zone has been conquered by people who shouldn't be here in the first place.

i can't chill out while waiting for my process to end. can't play games on Facebook. can't blog cause there are lots of noises around here. and if these people are talking things that aren't dumb enough to make me blur, i would love to chit chat with them since i know they don't have a single work to do around here.

i have to procastinate my wish to blog around. i'll blog when it's almost time to go back. or better, blog from home.

and im having this nausea feeling along with a headache. some sort like experiencing a turbulence while in a plane. oh help!

Holiday in Miri - 7th Dec 2008

alright. im back to KL already. back to the normal hectic and busy life. boring actually. back to doing the same routine all over again, every single day. back to seeing some people who are such an eyesore, also pain in the arse. *sigh*

well, while i was in Miri i wasn't able to update my Blogger much, thanks to my mum who cut off our internet connection in the house. the only time i can get internet access is when i spend some ka-ching in Coffee Bean Miri. obviously, i can't be going there every single day. i need the ka-ching for some other activities too, mainly shopping.

so im going to update my Blogger bits by bits bout my holiday in Miri. nothing much actually. i didn't go out much with my friends as planned cause i was stuck at home, helping mum to clean the house spick and span. im just going to share bits of pictures i've taken to spare some boredness.

as like in the title, im just going to post up some pics for the day. it's the evening before AidilAdha, if im not mistaken. but im very sure that we went to have a massive, joyous dinner at my grandparents' house. we had steamboat, roasted lamb, baked sausages and potatoes, other dishes which i didn't opt for so i don't care much, and of course fruits and ice cream for desserts.

oh dear, not much of relevant pictures i can share from my folder. nevermind, let me introduce my 3 devilish cousins to dear readers. these 3 litte nuisance had been keeping me busy while i was there, with their little irritating tricks.

here is Hamizan Khan. we called him Mizan, but the mother and my grandma called him, most of the time, "Satan". the reason is that he's very, very irritating. and very mischievous, in short he's like Dennis the Menace. oh forgot. he's going to be in Primary 2 next year. and he's as tall as me but bigger in size. but he can't bully me and push me around yet. not eligible enough to do that yet. *laughing*

here's Ghanim Bahri Khan. Mizan's younger brother. the third in the four siblings. we called him Baie. something like that. truth to be told, he's such a sissy. he acts like he's the youngest among the siblings but he's not actually. how can i describe, huh? alright, let me put him in this way - he's the kind of boy that is the softy type but he still have the sense of a boy. meaning he's still into girls. because of that, we also called him "sotong" which means squid which literally means softy-type.

and here is everyone's favourite. this is Nizar Khan. he's the youngest among all but he acts as if he's the eldest. he demands the people around him and he's very good in taking control of everyone. he's very obedient to the mother too, sometimes but better than the others. we used to called him Baby cause he's the youngest but then it changed into Curly-Wurly. just look at his adorable hair. how you wished he's a girl instead of a boy, right? and he's born adorable enough to melt hearts around him. but he's such a nuisance too.

that's all for now. im kind of hungry now and im lost of words already. going to update again tomorrow.

later yeah?

holiday-ing in Miri

this is my 4th day in Miri.

nothing much i did while i was here, for now.

I arrived in Miri in the evening on Saturday. just going to describe little bits of what i've done in Miri for now.

Saturday evening : dropped by at my grandparents' house on the way back from the airport. hang out there for quite a while before going off for window-shopping in Boulevard.

Sunday : accompanied my mum and grandma for morning shopping spree for groceries. invited my best bud, Amoi for a quick lunch of Italian pasta before going off to my grandparent's house for a heavy and joyous dinner. had lamb roast, baked potatoes and sausages, steamboat and other things including fruitful of desserts.

Monday : Aidiladha's celebration. went for a lunch at a relative's house. then off to the new hypermarket somewhere in Senadin (i think!) which is called eMart. lots of stuffs for a good deal of prices there. fell in love with one pair of sneakers there but couldn't buy it cause no size for me. then slept whole day

Today : went to Coffee Bean in the afternoon to use the wireless. and also to do some shopping. received an invitation from Amoi for a dinner at her house and promised to meet up around 6pm. oh yea! i felt so relieved and happy to be able to chat with Hubby. seems like his phone is allergic to DiGi as it is unable to detect any line for DiGi.

i'll be going back to kL on Saturday. really miss my Hubby and can't wait to see him. will post some pictures after i come back from Miri.

leaving on a plane

at LCCT now.

airport is freaking packed with people.

in CoffeeBean, surfing the net while slurping The Ultimate.

waiting for departure.

missing Hubby already.

going to read other blogs and post another proper one later when im free.

of blur consequence

tomorrow, im flying off to Miri for AidilAdha's celebration.

and also to celebrate my 22nd birthday since i didn't celebrate my 21st last year.

this week, i seemed to be so restless. im supposed to relax a bit from work cause operation was stopped for a while, but The Boss gave me some calculations to do. to analyze the raw data that we obtained from the operation.

it seems to her, that none of the seniors here knows how to do mass balance calculation. so basically, no report. no progress all the while before i came in. sort of, stupid i can say.

im basically crying for more sleep this week. i have enough 6 hours of sleep every night, but it's not enough yet to revive myself, my body and most important, my brain. i need to rest my brain with lots of sleep. i want to hibernate. and i was looking forward for weekend.

then i remembered, oh God! i am going to have a whole day of travelling tomorrow. have to wake up latest by 9.30am or 10am. which is not the usual time i would wake up during weekends. then have to travel. only to reach my destination around 5.30pm. one day of weekend will be wasted by travelling only.

and im very sure i'll be freaking dead tired.

im going to buy a box of ciggies and a can of coke tomorrow to keep me energized and awake throughout the journey.

and im blur now. sleepy actually, but it's turning me into a blur zombie-looking girl.

off to play the flash games in Facebook.

random rant and a bit of updates

it's 9.15 am and i still haven't get my coffee yet. the ice delivery man hasn't deliver the ices yet. so, while waiting im just going to rant a bit cause my nerves are killing me to explode.

one idiot so-called senior just drives me to my nerves moments ago. seriously, now instead of wandering, im constantly thinking how the hell that this kind of undisciplined people can be claimed as seniors?

it's very logical that every time before all of us (inhabitants of this lab) go back home, we are asked to make sure every thing is switched off including the lights too. i guess Mr.Ignorant is simple ignorant enough to let the lights on yesterday. oh wait, not only yesterday. it's actually every time when he leaves later than others.

alright, lights not switched off is no big deal.

once, he didn't bother to turn off the supply for hydrogen gas for a whole week, flowing excessively through the unused instrument. does that sound ignorant enough?

xx coffee break xx

okay. i've lost my words during coffee break so i guess i have open up another different topic. recently, i've noticed that i am putting on some weight and it's clearly shown by my bulging belly. i used to be sort of proud and comfy with my little belly (neither flat nor fat) , but now the belly has grown into a jello-bello kind of belly. not nice. not good. and of course, not comfy. i don't feel confident to wear anything i like as before.

and so as a start, i am doing sit-ups twice a day. got the advice from Hubby. as the first step, i start off with 15 sit-ups per session, twice a day - one in the morning and another at night/evening. need to familiarize my body with working out first before i can proceed with a routined jog, and maybe frequent visits to the gym. not to forget, im still looking around for a good squash court to revive my skills.

to be honest, i really enjoyed working myself out through exercise and sports. it makes me more focused, and confident to live my everyday life. i feel good. i feel more energetic. and less sleeping too. i am looking forward to find a new place to jog. a not-so-crowded court to play squash. thinking of learning how to swim too, since i don't know how.

oh.i really miss those times when i have enough leisure time to work myself out. but there are so many things to settle before i can continue doing what i did before. i need to scout for gyms and the fees. i need new squash racket since my old one was cracked and can't be used any longer. need to get my badminton racket from my ex-roomate in case anyone invites me for some sets of badminton. need to get my stamina back to where it was before i can do all the above.

hopefully, i can keep up with my routine. not like doing it half way then stop. then re-do it half way,then stop. a stepping stone for the New Year's resolution - put off some weight, and keep fit!

(off to scout for some more exercises that can be done at home.)

first step to refresh

i had a wonderful time hanging out with Matt and Hubby this afternoon at Starbucks in Midvalley.

it was nice to see Hubby and his old pal to get together again, after quite some time away from each other without any news. nice to see both of them enjoy themselves catching up with stories. updating themselves, i say. till we didn't realize it was time to go.

i've posted a post before about Hubby so-called friends, and we did clear things out wholly. it was good to clear out vague things about their friendship, which i personally felt that i might be the cause for all the things that have happened. but screw that, i am happy to know the real truth. and we talked it maturely, arguing too but good healthy arguments. that's one reason why i loved to hang out with Hubby and Matt before. and i still do.

it's good to know that Hubby's friends didn't actually mean to cast him out from the gang but they had to do it to avoid things between him and my ex-boyfriend become worse. but now, since everything was a-ok, i guess their friendship will re-bloom into how it used to be before. i hope so. and i pray for it.

Matt was mature enough to enquire me about the particular post, but honestly i didn't expect anyone to read my blog. well, most of the posts are random rants of my daily life and also my personal thoughts and opinions. so who cares to read also, right? i thank you Matt for helping us clearing things up and for being mature enough to apologize, forgive and forget. we do the same too. that's what friends do, right? apologize. forgive. forget. just remember the moral behind everything.

tomorrow, me and Hubby will be going to the museum. i hope Hubby will recover from his migraine, cause im excited of the visit. doing something out of the usual. it oftens gives anyone of us the excitement. plus, i never went for any visit to any musuem before.

to Matt, nice seeing you again. hope to see you once again before the semester starts. and Hubby hopes to see the rest of the gang too. truth to be told, Hubby actually misses his friends and the old times they had together before. when Hubby's happy, im happy too :)

off to playing Pet Society in Facebook. later!

cancelling all the plans, im sad.

im having a wave of mixed up feelings now. sad. down. blue. angry. anything that has nothing to do with happy.

it all happened after The Boss offered Hubby to work under UM's payroll. according to her, it is to help the company to take charge of important matters expecially ones regarding the hydrogen compressor and also gases.

now it seemed like the compliments i received had gone flowing through the drain cause it's no point for me being happy if Hubby isn't. what's worse, he's in his self-down-graded mood now.

he believes that The Boss wanted to transfer him into UM instead of under the company because he has no relevant and important use of being in the company. you see, the company is dealing mostly with mechanical and chemical core. be it engineering or lab work. mostly, it's chemical core that plays a huge role for the company but it needs mechanical elements too. none others.

and Hubby has electrical power core.

and that's why he personally feels that The Boss wanted him out cause he has very less relevance to the company.

i really hate it when he feels bad about himself. telling off that he's such a jinx, and nobody wants him. that he's not important. that he's such a loser to even think of working under a chemical and mechanical based company.

no no. i don't hate it when he feels and tell such things. it's more to breaking my heart, shredding my heart apart to hear that he thinks himself of that way. doesn't he realize that one day, he can become one of the good engineers around? it's all a matter of time. experience too.

well, comparing me to him, i think im the loser here. i might have the brains, but what good does intelligence give when you don't have the skills, experience and most importantly - the figure?

Hubby is tough and strong and he can do almost any engineering task when it comes to hands-on. as for me, i cant even bloody reach the top of the tank to install the pressure regulator.

he is always thinking critical and innovatively, while i follow the book which sometimes put me into lots of trouble and problems.

he is sturdy, and always able to stand on his own. stand up and defend himself if he feels he is right. not scared to voice out his ideas and opinions. not worried if others are against him. me? im totally opposite. i can't even and hardly talk to people around me! when others scold me for something that isn't even my fault, i can only feel fear.

he has superb communication skills. i am like a shy little pup.

seriously, it breaks my heart to hear him telling me what he thinks of himself. i had given him lots of supportive words and encouragement but his thoughts are stronger than my words.

right now, i don't know what to do. i have no mood at all to hang out or go for the visit to the museum that i have been feeling excited about all week. i just don't have any mood to do anything anymore now. i think i'll just forget bout all those plans.

i feel like crying. at one point, i feel like asking The Boss whether if she thinks that Hubby is no use to her. that's really unfair if she thinks so. cause Hubby had helped a lot with the things she needed.

i just want to go back and share with Mr.Teddie Boo bout my feelings.

silly debates of politician

i came upon Mahen's recent post about an annoying and hurtful word used during a debate in Dewan Parlimen.

i've watched a few times of these so-called meeting debate in the television and obviously, im not interested in it.

the thing is, i think school kids debates are more mannered than the ones in the Dewan. the debaters abide by the rules of the debate, they don't raise sensitive issues. they have more points, relevant ones. the respect members of the floor and also other debaters. and they don't use hurtful, sensitive or bad words towards anyone.

i keep on wondering why the politicians have less manners than students? i've heard people say that the older a person gets, the wiser he is. but why these politicians are not as wise as they should be? or is it because each and every one of them thinks highly and claim himself better than others, maybe? from my experience, a person who has higher post than other or belongs to a clique of important people often thinks that he is better than anyone else around him. ego, i may say. self-pride. even my 15-year old sister once ask me "how come politicians can be so unmannered in a debate? shouldn't they debate wisely other than insulting others when it comes to serious matters?"

aren't these politicians feel ashamed of themselves? acting like small children fighting about who's bicycle is faster or whose parents are cooler?

the way they're acting and throwing unsensible words around the Dewan towards other members are really childish, if any of you noticed. they don't choose their words properly and what's worse, the language they're using is also broken. not formal, i say. even when debating in Bahasa Melayu also, the words are following their own dialect. not formal Bahasa Melayu as being taught in schools or higher institutions. and it gets worse when they debate in English. totally broken all over the sentences. don't tell me they went to schools and pursue their studies but never learn communication skills and lingual subjects? proper use of words in a language? don't tell me they never even go to school to learn all these skills?

and yet, when a person younger than them speaks out seriously a matter of their topic, they tell the youngster off that they don't have the slightest idea what the young man is talking about. obviously these politicians don't understand a thing - how can we expect these retards to understand when they themselves can't even use proper words to communicate among each other?

oh oh. The Boss is here. calling for meeting. got to go! will rant bout this later on, i think and hope so.

love weekends!

at last, Friday's come again.

since i've had hard and tough times recently for a project, now im off for some fun which i think i deserve to have. i haven't been enjoying myself much due to work loads.

this week, im planning to visit the National Museum with Hubby. haven't got a chance to explore tourists attractions like such. i love visiting places like museums, exhibitions, theme parks and more other than strolling around in shopping complexes full of people. hoping to go tomorrow in condition that neither me nor Hubby feels tired. oh, almost forgot. this reminds me to visit the website for the museum too, and other attraction sites in kL, in case we couldn't make it for tomorrow. hopefully, the museum is opened on Sundays too.

we're planning to meet up with Matt also tomorrow. preferably evening or night. when it comes to chilling out and have drinks with friends, i prefer to do it either evening or night. late night is alright with me too. maybe because of the weather and also the night view. we haven't decide yet where and what time to meet up, but i have in mind to meet up somewhere in Bangsar. maybe at Dewi's Corner if we're opting for nice cups of iced nescafe. if we're up to desserts and fast food, i guess McD's the place. or maybe, there might be a chance of going to a club and have some drinks there. but yet, clubs are not the appropriate place for us to chit chat and to catch up. i bet we'll be having a long conversation. i think i'll just look around for nice coffee houses in Bangsar or somewhere around there.

Emy is asking us out too. most probably, going for movies, or playing pool. maybe bowling too. that one, haven't confirm yet. but i know she's very eager to meet up and catch up things with us. maybe we'll go on Sunday. hopefully. but wait. if we meet up on Sunday, how bout the visit to the museum?

i can see that my weekend would be filled up with nice plans this time. i really hope i can get well from this flu and fever i've been having since last week. and im having another health problem since last night. half of my little head is paining. it's not exactly a headache, not a migraine too. i think it has something to do with one of my teeth, cause i can feel the pain through the veins from there. from the jaw. down one particular tooth. talking bout it reminds me more of the pain. oh, i should just ignore it.

next weekend, i'll be flying home to Miri. actually, im quite unsure of what to do during the one week trip to Miri. hang out with my family, that's surely listed in my planner. hang out with my other half, Amoi, that's a must. maybe hang out with some old friends. maybe, just maybe. or sleep? and eat? and get myself more fattened up? oh dear. i think i should start drafting plans for the week.

im planning to get a haircut today. will do it during lunch hour since it's Friday, and we have 2 and half hours of break. need to trim a bit here and there, and trim a lot of the front hair. it's really blocking my view, and i have to comb my front hair backwards, which my mum will disapprove. she loves seeing me having fringe. or side-sweep. she says it makes me look cute. we'll see later.

i better start looking for the museum's site on the web to see if they are opened on Sundays. and also, have to plan the meet up with Matt. later yea~

have i changed?

my friend, Emy, told me that i have become a serious person. last time she remembered, i was the joker and playful time. that was the last time i recalled myself too, but after what she told me this afternoon, i just have to agree with her.

yeah, i've grown out of fun lately. i became a boring person. the only person i share my jokes with is Hubby.

does that make me an anti-social? or a loner?

i think i have changed quite a lot lately.

before, the only things that i had lingering around in my head are carefree matters - where to enjoy myself this weekend, what to do tonight after squash or gym, what series or movies to download to watch, what to eat, what time to go to mamak and with who and lots of those kind of things.

now? im almost constantly thinking about work. worrying bout insufficient sleep. lots and lots of annoying and stressful thoughts in my little brain till i found myself blur in the end.

have i mentioned that i don't enjoy myself around the city like before? it's kind of weird i think. i enjoyed myself to the max when i was in Ipoh. but im not bothered to go out in KL. shouldn't a person be enjoying herself more when coming to big city like kL rather than a small city like Ipoh?

i've become more patient too nowadays. i was patient before, but now it seems like my patience level has almost no limits. or maybe, i've becoming more ignorant. i think it's the latter. cause i feel as if ignorance is bliss, it's true though.

there are a lot more things that i've changed. but i couldn't just list them out - cause im not even aware of these changes. maybe i'll ask Hubby what are the difference between the old and the new me. Hubby spends almost all of his time with me, so i bet he knows and observe a lot of me.

or maybe, anyone out there who knows me since before, could lend me a hand to see how far and how much i have changed?

i wonder, can i possibly have my old me back? i miss the fun of being the old me.

me, 2-Faced and Lazybum

i really HATE people who think they're big time _________ (insert any self-claimed complimentary words).

i bet all of us have met this kind of people in our lives more than once.

and oh, they're the same person who thinks ____________ (insert any comparative self-claimed complimentary words) than others around them.

yesterday, i nearly got into a fight with one of the people at my workplace. it involves one two-faced person, a lazybum and obviously me. i used to be in a healthy and good relationship with The 2-Faced and was never ever in good terms with The Lazybum.

you see, The Lazybum is getting nearer to having her baby delivered. i think just 2-3 months due. well, she has always been a lazybum. seniors told that it's one of her attributes. she loves to take naps during working hours, and obviously she doesn't do much of her work. most of the work she has to do, she will demand others (who are all postgraduate students) to do them for her while she naps in a small room. yeah, the room is quite hidden from the main lab. the room is a small instrument lab actually, only having 2 mini instruments. and a big chair for her to nap. you know, the kind of office use chairs with the soft paddings, usually black in color. the big boss chair, i called it.

so one fine day, i had to go into that small room to take a wrench. and i caught her leaning in the chair, napping of course. she didn't realize i was there. and that time, we were again given last minute tasks. everyone was busy trying to meet the deadlines, but this lady is busy slumbering. i just went out with the wrench, and continue my work.

in the afternoon, The 2-Faced called me in the lab. we were talking on the phone about work matters when she suddenly changed the topic and asked me what others are doing. that time, i didn't know she has the potential of being a 2-faced b*tch. she seemed to be the nicest among all, and whenever we need help, she is willing to help out if she can. i didn't even have the thought of her being as sly as a fox. and so i told her bout what i saw, since she told me that The Boss was asking.

i guess it happened earlier this week. The Boss caught The Lazybum napping in the small room. her friends tried to cover up for her, but they didn't seem to even try to save her arse. anyways, all of them like to backstab each other but they called themselves as the best of friends. weird huh? how can best friends backstab each other?

back to the story - The Lazybum was obviously furious when she was scolded in front of everyone (excluding me and Hubby cause we're in a different lab). Now, how did we almost end up in a fight? picture this:

  • one of The Lazybum's friend told The 2-Faced's friend bout the incident.
  • The 2-Faced's friend told the The Lazybum's friend that she heard from The 2-Faced complaining the same thing before.
  • The Lazybum's friend told The Lazybum bout the complaint.
  • The Lazybum went to unleash her fury to The 2-Faced.
  • The 2-Faced told The Lazybum that i was the one who saw her napping in the first place, and she added in some spices and salt.
The Lazybum was not daring enough to face me but she called me at my lab, and ran amok on the phone.
i went to see The 2-Faced, asked her the details, caught The Lazybum on time and so here's the conversation:

Lzb: why do you have to gossip around something that is untrue about me to 2-Faced? i didn't nap on the mat in the room, ok? (in her bitchy tone)

: hey, watch your words. it's true i saw you napping, and i admitted i told 2-Faced bout it but i didn't say you napped on a mat. are you stupid or what? how can a pregnant woman just sleep on the floor with only a mat? and you, 2-Faced, where the hell did you hear me mentioning bout a mat?

: but i thought i heard that Lazybum napped on a mat. i think so.

me: you think so, right? but you didn't hear me mentioning that particular sentence, did you? don't put in salt to a wound, can you? can you do that, huh?

: that's both of your problems. but i don't like people to spread untrue things bout me.

: too bad those things are true. and too bad for you that The Boss caught you. im not going to apologize for something i didn't do. and for all you know, it's your friends who complain straight to The Boss. look into your own gang first before you point your bloody fingers at others.

The Lazybum couldn't say more, and so she left. i straightened things up with The 2-Faced and demanded an apology from her. and i got it.

if only i don't have to be such a gentle person as a lady should be, i would have done this : drag both b*tches to The Boss (but The Boss had meeting when the fight happened), and talk everything out once and for all.

but i think i still prefer my old way:

drag The Lazybum behind the block, and bash her up nicely with my big wrench. and have some serious words with The 2-Faced bout her being a b*tch. you know, the way men solve fights with each other :)

oh, i should have just done the old way. it's pure satisfaction plus i bet, they won't dare to even look at me anymore.

im off smoking now. Hubby's dragging.