a heart out.

I typed a very long rant bout how The Boss mistreats me - and in the end i found myself deleting everything. Not that im scared of her or what-so-ever, but i think im trying to be ignorant of these matters. but i do have valid reasons why i am so pissed with The Boss.

1. She owes me almost rm900 - overtime plus my plant allowances. and she dares to tell me that im cheating on my working hours. i stayed up every night to finish up work for her. she called me in every freaking weekends, and i have to come to work. i went to plant visits - a place where none of these people would go for a job, and yet she didn't even appreciate it.

2. she puts me into a lot of pressure and burden on my shoulders. i have to be the procurement person, i have to be the customer service, i have to be the cleaner, i have to be the chemist, the technician, the engineer. anything except for one - i am assigned (yet!) to be The Boss.

my brain is really tired. and i can feel that it's burnt out. but i can't complain to anyone cause they won't understand my situation. and i can't complain to Hubby either cause i know he's more tired than i am. he's taking weekend classes in NIOSH for Safety Officer programme, and that means he has to move around 7 days a week. no break at all. so yeah, i can't complain to him. which is why nowadays i find myself to be very quiet in the car. and day-dreaming a lot. i am trying hard not to bring these negative feelings when im with Hubby, but things like these happen when your brain is so used of thinking bout work. i even dream of work. wtf, i know.

i am not socially active like before. my 24 hours a day goes on the same routine - wake up, work, lunch, work, dinner, sleep. no window-shopping. no sight-seeing. no relaxing. no clubbing (i miss this one a lot!) and obviously, no hanging out with friends. the only person we hang out with is our housemate, Chris. that's because he's always at the cybercafe in our neighbourhood. so we meet him up a lot. every night for dinner, unless if he has some other plans.

and do you believe it, if i tell you that The Boss won't allow either me and Hubby take more than one day off our annual leave? don't even think of both of us taking holiday at the same time, she'll hang herself if we do that. hence, we still have about 2 weeks of unused annual leave.

honestly, im very unhappy these days. Hubby always makes me happy, that sweet guy never fails to do so. but yet, deep in myself and my heart, i feel unhappy. i feel less contented. i feel..tensed. i frowned more. i smile weakly. i laugh unwillingly. it's more to a grin and a smirk instead of a smile and a laugh.

we were planning to go to Ipoh for a 3-days break off work this week since Friday is a holiday. we were hoping that The Boss would clear off our allowances and overtime so that we can spend the money, our hard-earned money, to enjoy ourselves in Ipoh. and maybe Fraser's. but again, that witch burst our bubbles.

one day, i may walk up to her and shake her hand. look her into the eyes and tell her,

"Thank you very much for making us miserable.."