Bad Aidilfitri Eve

I feel like starting with a sigh, and ending up with a sigh too.. Had bad times as the clock is ticking near to Aidilfitri. I think this is the worst Aidilfitri i've ever remember in my life..

Today, KL looks empty as most of its residents have gone back to their hometown for Aidilfitri. Can say i feel empty deep inside too. Missing Aidilfitri isn't the first time for me. I think this is my third or fourth time missing the joyous celebration. Last time it was because of study loads, but this year it's totally different. It's something i never want to happen. Something i wish i can avoid. That's another reason why i don't celebrate Syawal this year.

I wouldn't prefer to include or to mention anything bout yesterday in this post as i think it will be favorable and better if it's kept among some certain people. You know, some things are better left unsaid. But what i experienced yesterday, obviously wasn't a nice starter for Syawal. It was more to.. heartbreaking. Full of anger. Revenge. Think of all the hard-feelings in the world and that's what i got yesterday. I wish those two people were never my family.

Special thanks to my dearest sweetheart, also to my mom, my siblings, my auntie and her husband, and my grandparents for being so considerate and supportive to stand up for me while others are mocking me. Only God and time can repay your kindness.

As for today, I have to go to work eventhough it's just half-day. Jinx! When we stepped into the lab, we noticed the emergency alarm panel was screaming its alarm out, and the red light was buzzing around. Something went wrong with the hydrogen compressor system. Took them a few hours to come down here to settle the problem. And while im writing this, they're still wandering around to solve the problem. What a day la...

Tomorrow is the 1st of Syawal. Im going to call home. To seek forgiveness from the people i should seek from. There will tears shed, that's for sure. But then again, it's the sense of forgiveness that matters. Forgive and forget. Not forgive but still making a fuss bout it deep inside. But i guess the latter was the favourite choice. The world has changed, so are the people..

Ape ertinye Syawal, "Maaf Zahir dan Batin".. jika masing-masing masih bersengketa, menaruh dendam?

p/s: I learnt one thing this Aidilfitri. Seek forgiveness from those who deserved from and forgive those who deserved to.. Sometimes, some things or people cant neither be forgiven nor forget..Sometimes, we have to play life as hard as it plays us around.