i came upon Wiena's post about her wanting and ready to start dating once again. and as i read her post, i somehow recalled my own experience. maybe you can pick up bits of advice, or motivation from my experience, Wiena - whichever is relevant. just wanted to share of what i went through and what i've learned from my past relationship with the other gender.
i started off my first relationship with a guy whom i knew from mIRC. that was like years ago when i was in early years of high-school. it was more to a stupid puppy-cyber-courtship, without the least commitment to be even considered as a relationship. but then it lasted for one and half year. broke up because of a third party. and the lesson(s) i've learnt from this first courtship was/were:
1. never to trust some other girls who are always being cheeky with your partner.
2. never to trust someone that you hardly meet, even if he's your partner.
3. in short, never trust anyone more than yourself.
then i gave it a break. concentrated on my studies more even though i was still flirting (yes, i did flirt when i was in high-school. just that i never mention or show 'em off). after high-school ended, i met another guy who was my cousin's good friend. we had lots of things in common - thoughts, the way we talk, jokes, interests or even to the silliest things like zodiac sign. i still remember he was born on the 2nd while i was on the 4th of the same month. different years. i think he was about 3 years older than me. and this one i could considered as a real relationship cause we had commitments to each other. not much, just trying to keep the relationship in a safe boat - being loyal, trustworthy, honest and all that partners should have. but then, it only lasted for one and half year. and again, it's because of a third party - he did some hanky-panky with his own bestfriend's girlfriend. moral of this relationship:
1. third party sucks. should've done something nasty before leaving.
2. men are men. their dicks are their brains.
3. sweet memories are to be kept like an album, let it be dusty but the bitter ones should always be fresh and made into lessons like an encyclopedia.
then i went back into flirting. got bored of it. changed myself into a black goth. and after like half a year being single, i started another relationship. and this was the WORST relationship ever in my life up till now. he IS (note the present tense instead of putting in the past tense) the WORST type of human beings that i've met for now. i think i've told you bout him in one my posts. yes, i addressed him as The Bloody Ex. the relationship could only hold up till one and half years, again!
(i can't help but to notice that ALL my relationships before this just lasted up to one and half year,can you?)
so, the lessons were:
1. if a guy cheated you once, he'll cheat you again. and again. and again.
2. if he dares to lie to you bout his feelings, expect him to lie to you bout his loyalty.
3. before you leave such a bastard, plan your revenge. spend every penny he has. make him mellow towards you. then leave him for a rebound. *evil loud laugh*
4. if you got to know bout his significant other (besides you), don't be shy to flirt. help yourself with the guys who are better than him. just let him be pissed.
5. dress for yourself. not for him. and again, flirt with full confidence since you've dressed up.
6. don't dump your friends. don't drift away from your friends when you have this kind of bastard as your partner. just go and enjoy with them. it'll be more fun.
7. if he's constantly condemns and backstabs his own good pals, do expect him to condemn you to his friends. yeah, two-faced pig.
i learnt a lot from my 3rd relationship with men. the first 2 was not enough to make me wise but the 3rd one did. made me more mature, actually.
after that, i went into a rebound relationship which only last for 3 months. or was it 2 months? can't remember. nothing much. just someone to keep me company for a while. yeah, i acted like a bitch but i need to flirt also, no? cause nevertheless, the whole experience with The Bloody Ex was painful.
after all the stupid relationship, full of shit - i finally met someone whom i am happy with. Hubby. *giggles* oh, and i learnt some lessons during my relationship with Hubby too:
1. who says you can't have your friends as your partner? actually the best partner one could have is his/her own bestfriend. cause he/she knows you the best among all. and you can trust them to make your life wonderful. only one risk - if the relationship doesn't work out, you'll miss both a partner and a best friend.
2. you don't have to go high and low to search for the right one. there is no right one. there is only one who will make things right for you. just wait, he'll come up right under your nose without you noticing it.
3. ask your heart, but think with your brain. do the maths and think if you can commit yourself to the person and if the person can do the same to you. if you're sure, don't miss the chance. don't make him wait longer.
4. relationship is about commitment showered with love. euw, doesn't sound like me at all. but it's true. it's about how far both of you willing to go and sacrifice to be together - to make the best out of life.
i've learned a lot from being with Hubby. when i met him, he was matured - so i don't expect any silly puppy-love from him. he was ready for a commited relationship. partner for life, husband and wife. that kind of thing. and we're still learning from each other - mistakes, personal and ect. and by learning, we don't get bored of each other. not to say im proud to have a so-called perfect relationship. we do share some arguments and fights. so i can't say it's perfect. but im sure of one thing.
im proud and lucky to have a person like him to be my partner for life.
so girls, when you get dumped or hurt - don't give up. always have hopes and dreams and who knows you're prince charming is just beside you.
anyway, im slowly getting blur now. so i better stop before i ruin this whole post with some irrelevant rants.
later.
p/s: Dear Wiena, you deserve someone special. every one of us deserve someone special in their lives. don't give up cause of the past. the future has been drafted for you. just that, you need to explore to get to the right one :) go have some flirts *winks*
0 little words:
Post a Comment