broken English.

i wish i could write interesting posts like other blogger. like my other friends.

i always write something that are silly, relevant to nothing, craps and rants. seriously, am i trying too hard to write better?

it's not that i don't have ideas of what to share and post. i have lots of stories to tell, lots of views to share but i often find it hard to express them into words. maybe it's because my English is getting worse. selection of words used are very minimal, hence couldn't find the right words to convey my message. i think i should read more. and i'd love to have my Oxford dictionary and Thesaurus back in my bookshelf. i left those two darlings back in the campus. i haven't got the chance to take my things back yet. obviously, i can't simply go into MPH bookstore and grab those dictionaries cause it does cost me a lot. i think i'll get an online dictionary instead. i'll look up later. have you got any websites that i can visit to get my own softcopy dictionary? please let me know, yea?

i still remember when i was small, my mum made us speak English as our first language. she was an English tutor back then, and she forced us to always look up in the dictionary whenever we found new or bombastic words, or even the spelling. she made us treat dictionaries like it's our own bible. like a must to be used daily. at first i hate using dictionaries, but as years went by, i basically became a priestess to the book. i bring it everywhere with me - school, extra classes, tuition, even at home while watching tv. took note of some weird words and search in the Oxford or Thesaurus for their meanings. and i used to be proud of myself back then, cause i could speak English very fluently, and write very good pieces of work - essays, poems or quadruples.

now, my English is broken. it has become English with a bit twists of Chinese language, Bahasa Melayu and also Tamil - here and there. not to mention when it comes to pronunciation - i speak out terribly. written? my sister can even laugh at me when i helped her out to write an essay. i kept on asking her:

"what's the English word for ___ or ___?"

and my mum often scolded me for that. and tease me too till i feel so stupid. i was embarrassed, and i still am.

i think i should read and practice my English language skills more. yeap. i think i'll just look up in Scribd and see if i can find something interesting to read. oh, and online dictionaries too.

but i still want my dual-language Oxford dictionary! any ideas which site i could visit to get a softcopy or a software of it?