i look like a 12 yrs old, but im acting like a 45 yrs old.

i was quite surprised to see no updates from any of friends' blogs this morning when i came to work. i guess everyone is busy sitting for their final exams. hence, a bunch of good lucks for those who are sitting for final exams. *crossing fingers*

Wiena gave me a very interesting link to my previous post. and im supposed to browse through the shoes and sandals sections but somehow i lingered around and found myself drooling over some really chic, cute and irresistible dresses, tops and etc. oh yea, some nice shoes too! but too bad the shoes aren't exactly sneakers. not meant for practical jobs. girls! you all can splurge around and drool over some nice stuff here.

when i was drooling over some dresses that attracted me so much, my mind kept on telling me that it's not practical for me to buy all those things. yeah, everything with me HAS to be practical nowadays. practical baby-tees, practical bags, practical shoes (sneakers are the most common), practical sandals, practical to almost everything! like for example, if i want to buy a handbag - i'll look around, window-shop, but in the end i'll grab a back-pack instead. my reason? cause i can keep almost everything inside including my lappy. yeah, i HAVE to bring my lappy around cause my boss said i should be "mobile". pfft! so much for mobile. buy me a smart PDA instead of a lappy then.

oh, im starting to wander away from the main points. ok, back to the story.

like i mentioned, everything has to be practical for me. im acting like an old lady, am i not? just watch your mums or grandmas, observe closely and you'll notice that they will go for things that are practical and can be used for lots of other things or tasks. urggh! im only 21 (excuse me, my birthday hasn't come by yet so im still 21 yea?) but im acting like a 40-something!

another example, i love dresses, skirts and tops. normal girls obsessions. i'll window-shop for these cute and chic clothes but found myself not buying any one of them. my think-a-tive brain always tells me these:

  1. i very much rarely go out for a special occasion or party, so why waste money buying those dresses?
  2. i don't go out window-shop or drive around like a normal teenager does during weekend, so why do i need to buy them?
  3. for work? dresses are obviously not practical for lab work. or worse; engineering jobs. so forget bout it. main dress code for work : shirt, pants (not slacks!), and covered shoes preferably sneakers.
  4. my Hubby always see me good even in my worst condition. he doesn't complain for me to be stylish and so. why should i complain then?
  5. again, i dont hang out that much to be having those clothes.
  6. im very stingy when it comes to my apperance, cause my brain never fails to tell me that it's a big waste of money. it would be better if i just spend it on things that i need, not things that i want.

now see why im acting like an old lady? i have the old-lady-brain in my skull. everything i buy has to be very convenient and practical for me, for my daily life. that's the main reason why i keep this simple style of me.

i dont even put a bloody lip-sheer anymore. yeap. im back to being like a school girl. i dont dress up. i dont put on make up. i dont put on perfumes. here's what i put on myself everyday:

  1. shampoo + conditioner
  2. shower cream
  3. facial wash
  4. body lotion
  5. talcum powder
  6. deodorant
  7. baby's oil

that's all. yeap, the very basic things. kinda pathetic, i know.

i do badly wish, a lot of times, to dress up and put on make up and look good like other girls around. even a high-school girl can dress up and look better than i am! i should be ashamed of myself, i know. im an adult but yet i still look and dress up like im 14 years old. not the modern 14 years old, i meant the 90's 14 years old. even younger girls look better than me nowadays. right, im feeling low on myself now.

when will i ever change myself head to toe? *sigh*

im going to sit in one corner and let the spiders weave their webs there till i come back to my appropriate senses.

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