off to Gebeng

This afternoon, a senior colleague approached me asking if i can replace her for a trip to Gebeng. it seems like she is unable to go because she has a child to fetch after office hours and the trip will be a day-trip. go off in the afternoon and come back at night. maybe late night.

then i got a phone call from her, telling that the boss asked me to go to replace her. obviously i was happy and excited. it's my first ever trip during work!

but then.. i thought..

i felt bad and terrible, think of any horrible feelings in the world - that's what im feeling more now. Hubby made a face when i told him i will be going to Pahang tomorrow. then he told me he's just joking to see my reaction, and he told me he's proud and happy for me. if he is, then how come i felt different deep inside?

if i can give excuses with relevant excuses of not wanting to go to Gebeng, i would've give my excuses to the boss.

if only i can just tell the boss to ask Hubby to go instead of me, maybe that will make him happier.

maybe, i'll just need to sacrifice my chances for him. maybe that will make both of us feel good with each other.

i feel sad now. i dont feel excited of going anymore. i know it's like a rare chance to go off for a work-trip. but i cant help feeling bad and terrible for Hubby.

plus, i dont have the appropriate clothes to wear. every blouse or formal clothes i have were either spoilt or aged. i can't freaking wear baju kurung to the site! it's prohibited for safety reasons.

im out of mood now. totally :(